Ewa Lichnowska, MS, LMHC, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

I want to help you and your partner thrive.

Both emotional and sexual satisfaction are crucial to a satisfying relationship.

Unfortunately traditional therapy and couples therapy have often neglected the physical and sexual aspects of relationships. Couples therapy can help with common relationship issues like diminished emotional intimacy, communication, conflict management and division of responsibilities. However, it is the physical and sexual aspects that distinguish a romantic relationship from a friendship. The conventional approach is that once these relational issues are resolved, the intimacy issues should resolve on their own. This is rarely the case and in fact, it is often the other way around. Most couples counselors have minimal training in human sexuality, so that aspect may be neglected in conventional couple counseling.

MY APPROACH

Everything we do in couples therapy will be tailored to you & your partner.

I will take time to listen in order to understand your concerns and needs.

I will take time to meet you individually to understand each of your perspectives.

I will help you and your partner understand how sexuality works naturally.

Most couples I see begin therapy already in great distress. I will listen to your concerns and help you find solutions to address them, but most importantly I will focus on learning what is your and your partners vision for a thriving, satisfying relationship. I believe that most negative patterns in my clients’ relationships such as criticism, pressure or avoidance are unfortunate and unsuccessful attempts at fulfilling one’s needs and vision. I will help you define them and help you and your partner develop a new language so that you communicate them constructively, develop empathy for one another and meet each others needs in ways that are genuine and given freely.

At the beginning of therapy when couples are stuck in a negative cycle, partners are often hesitant to speak openly out of fear that their partner might react with criticism or defensiveness. It is often particularly true when it comes to speaking about their sexual needs. I will give both of you an opportunity to speak with me about it so that we can ultimately develop an open and safe communication as well as cooperation between you and your partner. We will also take time to understand how your prior experiences such as family of origin, attachment style, prior sexual relationships, might be affecting you and your partner now.

There are so many myths and misconceptions about sexuality and what it takes to make a sexual relationship work. Consequently, couples often have unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners which result in diminished self-worth, anxiety and performance issues associated with being intimate. I will help you identify the root causes of your challenges with intimacy.

I will also help you and your partner connect with your bodies and learn how to follow your pleasure, so that you can go beyond just solving the problems. I know that when we understand how sexuality works naturally and work with (not against) our bodies, common problems often disappear. I want to go beyond that and help you discover what’s possible so that you can experience sexual satisfaction that exceeds your expectations.

Additionally I will be happy to answer any questions you might have, but were afraid to ask.

  • 2013 - present, Private Practice, Seattle, Washington

  • 2023 - present, Speaker, Consultant on sexuality issues in psychotherapy, Certified Sex Therapist

  • 2023 AASECT Sex Therapist Certification

  • 2020-2023 Sexual Health Alliance Sex Therapy Certification Program

  • 2013 Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Washington state

  • 2001 - 2003 University of Łódź, Poland,

    Master of Science Degree with a major in Psychology, Specialty in Health Psychology and Clinical Psychology

  • 1998 - 2001 University of Łódź, Poland

    Bachelor of Science Degree with a major in Psychology

    When I am not working to make my clients’ lives happier, I enjoy spending time with my family, tending to my numerous indoor plants, knitting, playing board games and watching and reading sci-fi, particularly “The Expanse” franchise of which I am a dedicated fan.

    I was born In communist Poland and spend first 10 years of my life behind the Iron Curtain. There I learned that things can change quickly and dramatically under the right conditions, which also helps me to stay an optimist.

    My first name Ewa is pronounced “eh-vuh”.

Training & Education

More about me

What does it mean to be a Certified Sex Therapist?

Certified Sex Therapists complete rigorous post graduate education that includes hundreds of hours studying topics like sexual anatomy, sexual development, sexuality research, socio-cultural and religious impacts on sexuality as well as gender, orientation, diversity, alternative sexuality and more. We are also required to demonstrate expertise by by working with sex therapy clients under supervision before getting certified.

What is AASECT and what does it mean to be an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist?

The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) is a not-for-profit, interdisciplinary professional organization founded in 1967. With its history of impeccable standards for training, experience and ethical behavior, AASECT is increasingly recognized as the guardian of professional standards in sexual health.

An AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) is a licensed mental health professional trained to assess, diagnose, and provide in-depth psychotherapy who has specialized in treating clients with sexual issues and concerns. CSTs work with sexual concerns including, but not limited to: sexual function and dysfunction; sexual pleasure; sexual variation; sexuality and disability; sexuality and chronic illness; sexual development across the lifespan; sexual abuse, assault and coercion; sexual orientation; gender identity. In addition, CSTs are prepared to provide comprehensive and intensive psychotherapy over an extended period of time in more complex cases.

In addition to the academic requirements, professional experience, supervision, and academic (credit bearing) coursework specific to the field (sexuality, as well as education, counseling, and/or therapy) must be officially documented. Finally, all candidates MUST be supervised by AASECT certified professionals for the indicated number of hours. The specific coursework and supervision are clearly detailed on AASECT’s website.

https://www.aasect.org/about-aasect